Sunday Reading December 8th

Happy snow day xxoo

Dear Adena,
I am totally hopelessly in love with a man M who lives 400 miles away from me :/ & it’s all my fault as I’m the one who moved away. He did the sorta noncommittal routine until days before I was about to leave & then professed his feelings to me. He says he wants to move to the beach to be with me. He seems to have sorta backed off now. I know he is very close to his three sons. Do you see him actually committing and then moving to be with me?
D

Hi D. It isn’t your fault at all. You were doing exactly what you should have been doing. Living your life. You were dating, no one was declaring anything, until the move. I wouldn’t even make fault a part of the equation here. I do think his feelings for you are deep and genuine. Right now , and I want to stress , that it is situational, he is thinking like a father. I believe that one of his son’s may have a legal issue going on and he feels obligated to be here and assist him. If it isn’t his son, i may be picking up on the fact that legally he is still bound to his son. I think he stepped back a little because I heard him say to himself that he shouldn’t be allowing a relationship to keep him from owning up to his responsibilities.

Yes, he is fantasizing about being with you , and how he could make that happen , while keeping his commitments to everyone. He wants everyone to be happy and for his life to be an open book . He wants there to be no regrets in his life and nothing he is ashamed of doing or turning his back on.

I don’t see a move now D. I see some debt that he is currently getting out of and saving money. I see that he has more invested where he is then in what he fantasizes about going to. It isn’t that he doesn’t want you. He’s practical. He’s saving money, He’s dealing with his son until he’s of legal age. He’s seeing you when he can. He see’s his children, and while he definitely plans on moving there when all is said and done, when the time comes, although he knows you would not be happy, he would want you to move back there. However, I do believe things change . This reading didn’t feel fixed by any means. Some do. He felt flexible and very much someone who wants it to work out with you. I do know that for M, fatherhood will come first, for how long, i don’t know. It could be that it will only be until his youngest is settled. For now, id try to enjoy what you have and believe that either way, you will work this out. Until then, do what you were doing, living your life, to the fullest! Love Adena

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